My vote.

On December 8, I wrote a column outlining my vote in the Demcratic Primary. I am going to do the same tonight.  As I said then, I did not offer an endorsement in this race, and am only posting the following now that the polls have closed.  Since September, I have tried to present each candidate fairly, and if bias came through I apologize.  It was not intentional.

I cast my first ballot just over 11 years ago, and have missed only one election since (when I forgot to send my absentee ballot back from DC in the Romney-O'Brien 2002 Gubernatorial race).

Never before in all those elections (for city councilors, state legislators, congressmen, etc.) have I struggled so much internally with my vote.

I first met Scott Brown in 2004 when he was running for State Senate.  I thought he was a very nice guy, but wasn't overly impressed by him as a candidate.

What I have seen since September has absolutely shocked me.  Brown has run, without a doubt, one of the best political campaigns I have ever seen.  From the great web-videos in October and conversation-starting commericials in December and January, to the savvy use of social media and the remarkable use of online tools to organize GOP voters - Brown and his team ran a practically flawless campaign for four months.  He succeeded in resurrecting a moribound Republican party in Massachusetts, and single-handedly put this election on the map. Most importantly, he improved as a candidate tremendously - not just from 2004, but from the beginning of this campaign.

By comparison, I found Martha Coakley profoundly disappointing as a candidate.  As I wrote in my primary post, as far back as 2006 I had "a certain feeling that [Coakley] would be a candidate for Senate if and when Senator Kerry moved on or Senator Kennedy retired," and "I often told friends and colleague that she would be a very strong candidate and extremely difficult to beat."  My prognostication skills clearly need some work.

I also wrote, "I actually think it was Coakley who had the strongest momentum heading into [primary] Election Day."  If my analysis was accurate, then she absolutely squandered that momentum.

There are plenty of parties to blame for the collapse of her lead in January, but certainly the candidate and her team will shoulder most of it.  The tepid campaign they ran (the boring ads, the lack of retail politics, the sometimes ridiculous comments), did nothing to convince me that Coakley related to me as a person.

Issues presented a different problem.  On social issues I disagree with Brown.  On Afghanistan I agree with him.  On some economic issues I agree, on others I differ.  Same thing with Coakley.  I don't agree with her on terrorists, or Afghanistan.  I agree with her on social issues and split the economic ones.  The final tally put me more in alignment with Coakley than Brown, but not overwhelmingly.

Basically, the two candidates fought to a standstill in my head (apologies to Joe Kennedy, but I disagree with most of his philosophy and he wasn't in the running).

So then I thought: I voted for President Obama in 2008.  I have not given up on him.  I am hoping he gets until at least the end of the year to try and implement his agenda. Then we'll see what happens.

And that's when things got REALLY conflicted...

...Because I don't support national health care reform.

I love that we have such a law in Massachusetts.  I think it's working.  I think if the people in Alabama or New Mexico or Texas want health care reform, they can pass their own law.  I think Massachusetts could be negatively impacted by the national effort.  I don't buy into all the ridiculous hype, but I do think it should be a state issue.

By all accounts, I should have voted for Scott Brown. But I voted for Martha Coakley.

It was not a vote for her, but a vote for the President I still haven't given up on.  It wasn't a vote for health care reform (and Reid-Pelosi made that decision easy anyway by announcing they would pass a bill regardless), but a vote for what I hope are Obama's plans to get our economy going again and win the war in Afghanistan. I vote for changed 14 months ago, and I'm not ready to do it again just yet.

Unfortunately for Martha Coakley?  I have voted for exactly 3 winners in 11 years.